Through the glass

The music was playing softly in my ears with the song trying to compete against the voice of the lady near me. Hopefully that is not a matter of confidence because the whole bus was audience to the chatter that was going on about someone in her family. The lady who was listening intently to the conversation was not even blinking her eyes. Has she gone into a sleep with eyes wide open? Or has she gone so deep into the conversation that she has become possessed, one would like to know.

The driver stopped suddenly and the screeching noise of the bus was audible even above the high voice in the sing I was listening. A moment of silence was felt before the banter again. Unable to avoid the background noise I shifted my attention to the outside world. The beginning of the weekend was evident in the way things were moving. Though my inner mind wanted to remind me that I have work the next day, I was immersed I  the collective joy of the weekend the surroundings expressed loudly. 

But, what caught my attention more was the moon that was visible through the old and dusty glass of the bus window. I didn't have to crane my neck to look at it. There it was, the moon almost completely round and big. Though the glass was trying to hide the entire beauty of it, it didn't waver in showing its glory. I couldn't help but stare at the beauty that was displayed. 

I wondered how it would be without the hurdle of the window and to look at it directly against the dark sky. I couldn't wait for the bus to stop and to reach my home. I couldn't wait to enjoy the moon with that one person who I wanted to share everything. 

The music shifted to a slow melody and the journey Though shirt was making me feel happy. The bus reached the destination and I reached home. 

But the thought of the moon disappeared once I entered the place called home. That one person who I wanted to see and feel better was trying to overtake the soreness that I was already feeling. 

With the thought of the moon that looked a little less brighter though the dirty glass, I went to sleep.

And that day, I realized that sometimes,if not most of the times, the view you get standing in a moving crowded bus is better than the one you imagine. Small things are sometimes at a more distant place than we like, and at that time the smaller things giving the smallest possible happiness is better, because ultimately happiness is the goal, and sometimes it is found in us, and not in someone else. 

Tomorrow, I am going to look at the moon and be happy at that moment, and not wait for someone else to make me happy. A lesson learned is a lesson gained.

Future

Future standing at the door

With welcoming hands. 

I stand before her

And look at the darkness 

That was her eyes.

Her cold hands touched mine,

Looking at the blank smile,

That was a gate to

The depth of her despairs,

I withdrew my hands.

I willingly walked this way.

Future was a breath of fresh air

In my dreams, with my eyes closed.

But, her stench was nauseating,

From the door she was standing at.

I entered through the grandeur door 

Just to be locked away forever.

With the Future standing so close,

Everything in my life looked bleak.

But the castle has strong doors

That will forever cage me,

And thick walls to bury my cries.

But, where do I lock those tears away,

The bestowed treasure killing my soul?

Do I let them flow and flood the cage?

Or send them as sacrifices,

To soften the fire?

Will those perpetual tears end?

Or will I keep collecting them,

Until I no longer need them

Because I am drowned in the flood.

End of Journey

Sometimes, 

You look forward to the journey 

And sadness enters at the end of it.

Sometimes,

The end looks more enchanting 

And looks like the reasonable answer

For every burning question. 

But, 

Should one wait and see whether 

The journey will become better?

Or cut the journey short

End it, and be at peace?

Fears and Cries

The little fears 

Accompanying the little cries

Guarded well by the loneliness

That never stops expanding.

The promised better future

Ending up worser than yesterday. 

All the hopes of happiness 

Lingering as a pale ghost.

The days that keep repeating

Carrying the anxiety of life;

Will it ever bring the smile

That is always so elusive?!

The walk that is tiring

Keeping me in the same place;

Sunrise or sunset,

Only the darkness prevails.

The tears that is shed

Willing for the change;

Friends with the sorrow

That has become my life.

Staying afloat, and for what?

Dreams have stopped making the entry 

Eyelids refuse to close anymore

Painful silence surrounding the room

Staring at the wall

Time continues to go.

The hope that once was a anchor is lost

Detached and without a shore

I keep wandering,

Not searching for something to hold on,

Just staying afloat. 

Looking at the innumerable waves

Finding that one huge wave

Enough to engulf me

Is what will make me smile.

It won't matter if it is the last.

Doomed Star

Imagining itself as special,

It lived a happy life.

And one fine day,

It came to know that,

It was indeed a star,

Like millions of other stars.

That shined so bright,

But with borrowed light.

Even stars die.

And until then,

They shined for others.

Doomed to live a life,

That was never for its own,

It had no other way,

But to shine in meaningless life,

Until death stopped it.

Even if it is blessed to be born again,

Is it going to have a Happy life?

Or continue the bane of

Existing as a commodity?

Nothing, but darkness 

That surrounds the future.

A Fool

You keep on giving,

And end up an empty shell.

As a fool, you thought,

You will be loved. 

Life was not fair,

But you thought otherwise.

You still expect a change,

The last laugh will be heard,

But, definitely not yours.

In a world full of love,

To having never seen it,

Must be a curse.

Living Unloved,

Will your sins come undone?

Smile like you mean it,

For that is an art,

You need in this life.

May be when the show ends,

And the audiences disappear, 

You can be free

To express your gloomy self,

And live for yourself. 

If cursed with a next birth,

Ask for a life,

Where you will not,

Live and die as

Someone else's drama.

Silence Forever

I want to be surrounded by silence, 

A silence that will make me deaf.

I want to break free from loneliness,

Even when I am never alone.

I want to feel what it is like to be happy,

Atleast for once in my life.

I want to learn not to love,

So that it doesn't end up hurting me.

I want to not stare into space and cry,

Feeling so lost in life.

I want to let go of everything and fly, 

And may be then, finally,

I can be at peace;

Though lonely, as always!

Shall we?

Let us keep talking late into the night,

Until the time goes far away from sight.

I want to stare at those sparkling eyes,

Tilting my head and smiling with shyness.

Burying my head on the strong shoulder,

I can feel the heart grow less colder.

If the moment could last a little longer,

I will etch it in my memory as a wonder. 

Always enchanting!

The evening, the end of the day

Was fast approaching. 

A palette of pale pink and blue,

Formed an enchanting sight to hold

Up there in the sky for everyone to see.

Looking at it brought in a calm

Which brought along happiness.

From the moving car,

I tried to memorise the scene

As much as possible 

Before it could disappear forever.

The rain that started along

Made me pray for delay of the darkness 

The shower brought along the earthy smell

That formed a shield around the serenity

That was there that evening 

To make that last forever,

What can I do?

It looked like it wanted to be

There forever too.

The speed of the car didn't slow down 

And the darkness was intimating

It's arrival by throwing in a purple hue.

A hopeless feeling engulf me

I crane my neck to look at the 

Departing sky amid the animosity.

And finally, 

The darkness set in and the rain stopped.

Without a meaningful Goodbye,

The sky lost an admirer.

And I, who could have never said

A Bye, sat in the moving car.

The silence was deafening 

And was reminding me of the departed.

Back to the darkness that will

Be the company for a while.

And with a hope of finding the 

Sight again, I kept going.