Optimism is the
faith that leads to achievement.
Nothing can be done without hope and
confidence.
- Helen Keller
Optimism
is a word that gives a boost of energy. When you feel that the whole world is
acting against you, just hearing it gives little hope. By knowing the existence
of some positivity in life, you tend to take your challenges positively too.
Here, I
am going to share a story about Optimism and how it helped me.
This
happened just a month back.
MBBS
Final year degree examination.
The top
of the question paper read like that. Just looking at it gave me jitters. 5
more minutes to open the dreaded paper and read its contents, and my mind went
back to the previous day.
Day before the exam
It was
5.00 AM. I took my books and went to the corridor in my hostel. The January
mist was at its full force, and I shivered, despite my heavy sweater and scarf.
Some of my classmates had already started reading and I went and joined them.
Most of us read outside the room, because the warmth of our hostel rooms made
us sleepy and we couldn’t afford to sleep.
I sat
leaning over a pillar, and the chillness that spread from it was enough to
shake off the lingering sleep. I opened one of my books and started reading. It
continued till 8.00 AM and it was time for breakfast.
My
friends and I used to spend some time at our hostel mess, eating, chatting and
gossiping.Only two of us went to mess that day, because others were too busy to
eat. We hesitated a minute before placing little of the upma onto our plates. After 5 minutes, we were back and I had
started studying with that upma taste at the back of my mouth.
The
clock soon showed 1.30 PM. Time for lunch. Sunday lunches were always a special
affair for us. In fact, sunday in itself held a special place. Sundays were
meant for little studying, and more for cleaning our rooms and they solely
existed for sunday lunches.
We never
visited our hostel mess on sunday afternoons and as soon as we get up, the
first thing in our mind would be where to order and what to order for lunch?
But on
that day, we visited our mess for lunch and none of us ate well. Not because of
the taste of the food, but because of the time left for our examinations.
None of
us even noticed the dinner time and it went by soon.
I was
sitting on my chair with Davidson’s
Principle and Practice of Medicine on my lap and I was going through the
previous year question papers. I still had many chapters to complete. This may
seem a little odd to a non-medical person. Who
would be reading a few hours before exam? We would.
The time
was soon past midnight and the chillness had spread everywhere. We all hoped
that it had spared the question paper setter’s heart.
The
clock struck 5.00 AM and I was still turning pages with many more to go. It had
been 24 hours since I had woken up, and the sleep was begging my eyes to close.
After an half an hour of rest, I was up again and everyone looked like people
on the day of their death sentence.
When I
was searching for an answer from the previous chapter, my eyes fell on a
chapter that I had studied two days back. Pure terror filled through me, when I
saw that I couldn’t remember anything. Tiny droplets of tears were ready to
face their downfall. I felt that someone had placed a constricting band around
me. The whole room seemed to close around me.
I opened my tiny cupboard and looked at the
small statue of my favourite God. I held my hands in prayer and closed my eyes.
The tears rolled down and various emotions passed through in that small moment.
Fear is something
that you should be careful not to let inside you.
Once it takes
over, you are not responsible for yourself anymore.
I
pacified myself by saying that I had done what I could and there was nothing to
fear. I was ready to face the first day of exams.
During the examination
The
chief examiner had announced that I could open the question paper. My hands
were shaking and I finally managed to open it. I had a little excitement that
ran through me when I opened it. The emotions soon changed into anxiety when I
read question after question. I looked at the other faces in the examination
hall. No one had looked up from reading the paper and the silence in the hall
felt eerie.
I looked
at my paper again hoping the letters would change into a new question. Nope. No
such luck. The paper remained the same and I slowly took my pen and opened the
answer sheet. My brain was not ready yet. I have written many examinations and
nothing made me feel dead like that.
I
managed to complete it and when I met my friends outside, no one was ready to
discuss the paper.
Second day of examination
No
difference from the previous day, excepting the fact that, that was not a
surprise.
That
evening my mind was going through all the chaotic happenings mixed with
philosophy. I had my exam the next day too. And I had slept a total of two
fours for the past two days and my eyelids were heavy.
That is
when, my mind asked a dangerous question, “Why should I study?”
To
which, something deep inside me answered, To
become a doctor?
“Why
should I become one?”
Because, that was and is your
ambition!
“Wasn’t it the worst decision ever?”
Really? Do you think so?
“From my
childhood, my aim was to become a doctor. I have always dreamt of it.”
Then, why the sudden change of
mind now?
“Because,
I have not done my exams well. I tried my best. I have been reading throughout
the year. I have been attending all the classes. I have been taking cases
throughout. But, why do I feel like that my best efforts always go in vain? A
person who studied in the last minute would have given the same set of answers.
What would be the difference then? May be studying MBBS was not my cup of tea.
I shouldn’t have chosen this!”
Do you think that one exam will
be able to estimate your worth? What you have studied throughout the year will
help you in the long run. When you treat your cases, it will certainly come
handy. Don’t you agree? Do you think that everyone gets a chance to learn this
course? If you have been granted an opportunity to read this and have come
successfully so far, don’t you think that you are selected to become a doctor?
Your ambition was nurtured well and you are working hard to achieve it. you are
providing the best efforts you can and you are justifying yourself.
You have an exam today and
believe in yourself that you can do well.
First believe in yourself to face
the challenges. If you can’t do it, then, who can?
Even
the darkest night will end,
and the sun will rise
- Victor Hugo
With
that the inner voice disappeared. It was not a hallucination where I was
hearing voices. It was just the Optimism in me surfacing to give some advice to
the pessimist in me.
The past
month had been the most depressing period in my life and I am writing this
today as Dr.Vaishnavie K. If I had lost hope after a little bumpy ride, I
wouldn’t have seen this day in my life. As I was able to remind myself of all
the dreams I have dreamt, all the services I wanted to do after becoming a
doctor, I was able to go forward.
Dream is not that
which you see while sleeping,
It is something that does not let you
sleep.
- A.P.J Abdul Kalam
As true
as that quote, my dream did not let me sleep and I have achieved it. It gave me
hope in despair and whenever, my confidence was down, it showed me a future me
fulfilling my dreams and I rebounded with confidence.
All
those exams were being so hard, just to give me the title of the ‘doctor’. All
those sleepless nights will give me a peaceful sleep today and even on becoming
a Doctor, my life is filled with optimism.
When I look
back at those days now, I can realise that hard work never fails and it has
been proven in my life. Hard work alone didn’t give me this reward. Hard work
combined with self confidence has made me what I am today.
I can
say million things I would like to do now. As I am happy now, I dream to spread
the happiness far and wide. And as Paulo Coelho rightly said in The
Alchemist,
When you
really want something,
