Heart or mind?
They two can never act together. They are like oil and water and they will remain as two separate entities even if they are forced to act together.
In such a state, when being blessed with both a good heart and a good mind, it is always tough to make decisions. Each one points in a different way and the result is confusion. There is even more chaos when you look deeply about where the affect of the confusion is. To lay the matters in order, the heart and mind should act together. But, is that even possible?
Yes. It is possible. When the heart convinces the mind over the decision ending it as an unanimous one. Has anyone ever achieved such a miraculous feat?
May be. We should try asking the yogis in the mountains. That is if they ever reply to such an awkward query.
Now, coming to the matter at hand.
Here goes a story about my friend. The heart won over the mind here.
As soon as we complete our school life, we become the main highlight at our homes. Everyone will be busy feeding is with their opinions and suggestions. You will be forced to hear the lecture about how fast you can settle in your life with engineering and how good a position in society does a doctor get.
Most Indian parents always give only two options to their wards.
After giving you the options, you are free to choose one among them. Sometimes, even that freedom is not given freely.
It is like facing the Multiple Choice Questions in the exam.
Choose one among the four.
In the real life, the little kids should choose one among the options given, though their inner heart warns them that none of the options are correct. Ah! The cunning mind! In the end it always manipulates you into believing that you have chosen the right option!
The toughest decision in life!
My friend was in the same situation a few years back. Her parents wanted her to do Medical course or Engineering and nothing else was permitted.
She was a shy and an obedient girl. She was a model student and everyone expected her to do one of those two. It is like an unwritten rule in our education. If you are a topper, choose Medicine or Engineering!
It was a day or two before her counselling. She came to my home early in the morning and we both went our for a stroll in the summer morning. With sweat threatening to soak even the innermost fiber of our cotton dresses, we had an important conversation, which was the first mature talk we had.
She told me about her dilemma in choosing her course. She appeared to be stressed and I have never seen her so worn out before. Decision making looks simple when you are not the one doing it. But it really is a tedious process when you have to decide the rest of your life.
Yin or Yang? This or That? Yes or No?
Such simple questions hold the toughest answers. Even after ending up with one option, you will always regret about not choosing the other one.
It is in the basic neural process if us, humans. The satisfactory feeling cell must have slipped from us when we were in the process of evolution.
There is a saying in Tamil, Podhum Endra Maname Pon Seiyyum Marundhu.
It means that if we achieve a state called 'satisfaction' then we have achieved the secret behind making Gold. This saying is the best example of how satisfaction will give you the best life you have ever imagined. By best life, I do not mean the Gold.
If you are satisfied with what you have, then even if you find out about a hidden treasure, you will not bring it out.
Now, to achieve that satisfaction, my friend was not ready to face the two optioned question.
She told me about how she has told her parents, that morning, that she wanted to pursue a course in Fashion Designing. The tender coconut which I have been sipping seemed to be stuck in the straw or so it seemed.
I was shocked.
She had been a role model and I never expected that from her.
I simply said, 'What?'
She told me everything. About how her parents wanted her to take a decision soon and how much she had contemplated on it before telling them about hers.
Her answer had not been one of their options and as the option setters, they had felt wronged that a different answer was the best answer!
We talked for quite a while. She wanted her parents to understand her decision. Her parents finally accepted it and now she is climbing up the ladder to a successful career.
She had told me about her torments the night before making the final decision.
It was a fight between the heart and the mind.
Mind: Choose one. Be a Doctor or an Engineer.
Heart: No. I don't want any of it.
Mind: You don't have any other option.
Heart: No. You are wrong. I do have other options.
Mind: I know what you are thinking. It is my desk work. You will never get a settled life with that.
Heart: Why can't I?
Mind: You can never shine in that field without help.
Heart: I think. Sorry. I feel that I have the talent and I can do it.
With these sorts of events bubbling in her, the final froth which floated above was the words of the heart.
She took a dare and followed her heart and now she is satisfied with what she has done.
No regrets and no secrets.
It was a Dil ki Deal for her!