Saturday, 18 June 2016

All I want

It was a beautiful day outside. The sun was shining brightly, the wind was there like an uninterested student in a class, and they made a wonderful day altogether.

She was looking out from her window, and all those images before her eyes felt surreal. Even her surroundings made her feel surreal. Something was very wrong, and it was right there in her hand.
A paper.

She had been starring and starring at the trees and the birds, but no conclusion was drawn from it.

She left out a huge sigh, and placed the paper down, took her pen and wrote.

"The world is a beautiful day outside. It has always been. But, one could enjoy it only if they could see the beauty in its wholesome.

I never knew that there would come a day like this, for i never imagined loosing myself into you.

What i might be saying in this letter is for your understanding, and what i might be hinting in these few paragraphs is that you need to understand from the subtleness of it.

The days and nights have never been the same for the past few months. It had been a nightmare, even in the daytime. But, in a good way. A good nightmare. But, one could bear it only for so long.

So, now here, i want to break away from those nighmares and i want to have a peaceful day and peaceful sleep.
When i wanted to say about what i thought, i felt that this would be a good way for it. I could always write better than speaking.
So, here i am.

Also, it might be offending you, for you might not be having the same delusional ideas as mine. It might be even hilarious to you, for a silly girl like me is saying all of it. It might even instigate a fire like anger. But, i wish that, if any of these negativeness happens, then it just doesn't hurt you.

I felt initially the things i shouldn't have. It was just normal to have a crush, isn't it? But, when it went beyond a normal crush, it took me months even to recognize my thoughts and feelings. I am little slow in these things, you know. But, after realizing it, i am just not myself. It has been hard to not to think of you. I tried reforming and changing. But, it just didn't work out. So, i thought, may be, it is better to say it out loud. Even if the feelings are not mutual, i am happy that i have atleast said and tried. One should never give up without trying.

Also, i hope that the normal conversations will not be stopped even if it goes in a very bad way. It is so much to hope, but at least i can hope for it.

These are the few hardest paragraphs i have ever written, and as i said, it might be nothing to you. But, all i need to know is about what you think, and your reply. All i want is a reply. Even if you have to do it in a single word, it doesn't matter. What is more significant is the reply itself than the number of words. It would be good to get an 'yes' or 'no' reply.

Wishing you all the good in the world"

She gently folded it, and she had posted it before she could change her mind out of cowardice.

The time flew so fast. But, there had never been a reply.


I woke up with a start. A small tear escaped from my eye and went down my cheeks.
It was all a dream? Just a dream?

I didn't know whether i should be happy that it was just a dream, or feel sad that the dream can happen.

I was just plain confused, about every6 that was happening in life. Why should i had been like this at all?
But no amount of lamenting could change anything.

The sky was still dark, and it was about to dawn. The purple sky threw a melancholic pattern all over the sky.

I went in, and my eyes fell on the letter that was sitting on my desk. I have been palpitating and there was sweat trickling down. I was nervous. Nervous enough to fold the letter neatly, and place it in a cover.

And i was crazy enough to have posted it later. The letter, the feelings, the ramblings have been posted.

Now, all i want, is a reply.
All i want is just a reply.

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